Yer What?

My grandma used to complain she could understand None of the words in pop songs.

A more common problem, perhaps, is mishearing particular words or phrases. These errors are known as mondegreens and come from Lady Mondegreen, a misinterpretation of the phrase laid him on the green from the traditional ballad ‘The Bonny Earl of Murray’.

My search for stuff that makes me laugh – beginning with Spike Milligan in my previous post – continues with this wonderful (if slightly bawdy) example of stand-up comedy from Peter Kay. I was born in Bolton and can confirm that most people from Lancashire are funny, if not quite this amusing …

Rolling in the Aisles …

There seems to be something of a laughter deficit at the moment. Real laughter brings a therapeutic loss of Control and I’ve seen grown men and women helpless with laughter when Spike Milligan does his stuff. Without laughter we lose perspective, so here is Spike (aged 76) accepting a Lifetime Achievement gong at the British Comedy Awards:

Postscript:  Immediately after this event, Spike sent a fax to Prince Charles which read: “I suppose a knighthood is out of the question?”

Ella at 100

So hard to write well about music … somebody once compared it to dancing about architecture … so hats off to this thoughtful, heartfelt tribute complete with original artwork! The first two lines prompted me to add this music link … https://youtu.be/SjJry0vhHj4

method two madness

ella singing s

For Ella

The task of
the basket:  calling
unfinished
collections
together with messages
condensed into song.

The elders
plant wandering seeds,
summoning
the dropped lines
into fertilized pockets,
bringing roots to light.

Cut loose but
not lost.  Walking on
air–a voice–
unclouded,
animated, multiplied,
luminous. Flying.

Today would have been Ella Fitzgerald’s 100th birthday.  I’m pleased to have my drawing and poem included in the anthology celebration “Ella @ 100” .

“The only thing better than singing is more singing.”
–Ella Fitzgerald

Happy Birthday Ella.

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Whistleblown!

Did you know that there is now just one way to get financial support for new scientific research in Bafflesby? Of course you didn’t. They don’t make it easy to find out these things, do they? So we here at Bafileaks (Motto: Who Drips Wins) have decided to make public the following pamphlet, obtained at considerable personal risk from a display-stand in the foyer of their so-called funding agency.

Guidance About Submitting Projects (GASP)

The public needs good news. Officially authorised research from Professor Tom Eliot over at the 4 Quartets Institute has demonstrated that human kind cannot bear very much reality. Or very much in the way of tax increases. That’s why, from now on, we’re investing in science which delivers purely positive messages.

In a nutshell: if it puts a smile on our faces, you get the funding!

So here are some simple Do’s and Don’ts to stop you wasting your time and ours …

DO

  • send us inventions that will make a profit
  • produce studies that show we’re getting it right
  • offer proof that people can solve their own problems without help from experts
  • conclude that throwing money at the problem isn’t the answer
  • suggest we leave well enough alone

DON’T

  • uncover problems that require international action
  • mention tipping-points or cliff-edges
  • bang on about worst-case scenarios
  • use big words or long sentences
  • recommend expensive fixes or further investigations

We are Avid Believers in Science. We believe it’s out there … somewhere or other. So come in out of the cold, you boffins, and pitch us your plans!

Just make sure you wipe your feet first.

This is not fake news. No facts used are alternative. Only the science is fiction.

 

Image result for alchemist

 

Image: Pinterest

Millagain …

When I saw the Daily Prompt word was Spike, how could I resist another tribute to the comic genius who kept us UK kids rolling around on the floor in the 1950s? Humour is notoriously hard to explain, so I’ll settle for affection … perhaps you’ll get a warm feeling from these acrostics.

For my earlier tribute to Spike Milligan, click https://davekingsbury.wordpress.com/2015/11/10/spike-in-audience-ratings/?frame-nonce=6d17e5a226

S illy Verse For Kids – we felt the
P ain of laughing till we cried but never had an
I nkling that you wrote the book to
K eep your own kids grinning, in agonised
E xpectation that divorce might tear them from you.

S ometimes the solemn
P retence of adult life
I s given a good
K icking when one of us breaks ranks and starts to
E ntertain his inner child.

S ad little Bluebottle,
P ipsqueak
I n
K neebritches, angry with
E ccles!

 

Image result for Spike Milligan

 

Image: ABC

New Lamps For Old!

A curiously mirthless response to the Daily Prompt Chuckle:

C ompare these shrinking horizons to that wide world where all were
H eroes once upon a dream. Remember how we
U sed to imagine ourselves somehow worth
C elebrating in stirring sagas to be
K ept for perpetuity in many-storied
L ibraries, those grand repositories of glorious
E xample? Hush … don’t snigger!