Category: humor

Press Statement

It has been brought to my attention that a nomad in cyberspace has published nothing for more than a week. I have ordered an internal inquiry into this unfortunate situation and will leave no stone unturned in my absolute determination to find out what has gone wrong.

I take full responsibility for any failures, of course, and my first action will be to relieve them of their failed responsibilities. There is no room for dead wood on this blogsite, I can assure you, and if anyone isn’t pulling their weight they can sling their hook. No department is beyond the scope of this root-and-branch investigation, from Research & Development to Concept Realisation – wherever the blockage is and whoever is causing it, I’ve got your number.

We at nomad are very proud of our product and can only apologise for this ongoing hold-up scenario in new-post production. We are sorry. Those responsible, when we find them, will be even more sorry.

Let me be clear. There will be no more wonderings – or wanderings, for that matter, zig-zag or otherwise. From now on it’s going to be all straight lines and sharp corners. We owe it to our loyal customer base to deliver and deliver hard. Hard and fast. Hard, fast and furious.

I’m furious. I’m furious that this has happened … or rather, not happened on my watch. Let me be clear. I may have taken my eye off the ball, believing in all good faith that those I had entrusted with the job of running with it weren’t kicking it into the bushes while I was … or rather, wasn’t watching.

But let me be clear. Now that I’ve got the damn ball rolling again we’ll be up and running in no time. Just need to drain the swamp and bring in some fresh blood. So to speak.

One thing’s for sure. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve still got a job to do.


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