Press Statement

It has been brought to my attention that a nomad in cyberspace has published nothing for more than a week. I have ordered an internal inquiry into this unfortunate situation and will leave no stone unturned in my absolute determination to find out what has gone wrong.

I take full responsibility for any failures, of course, and my first action will be to relieve them of their failed responsibilities. There is no room for dead wood on this blogsite, I can assure you, and if anyone isn’t pulling their weight they can sling their hook. No department is beyond the scope of this root-and-branch investigation, from Research & Development to Concept Realisation – wherever the blockage is and whoever is causing it, I’ve got your number.

We at nomad are very proud of our product and can only apologise for this ongoing hold-up scenario in new-post production. We are sorry. Those responsible, when we find them, will be even more sorry.

Let me be clear. There will be no more wonderings – or wanderings, for that matter, zig-zag or otherwise. From now on it’s going to be all straight lines and sharp corners. We owe it to our loyal customer base to deliver and deliver hard. Hard and fast. Hard, fast and furious.

I’m furious. I’m furious that this has happened … or rather, not happened on my watch. Let me be clear. I may have taken my eye off the ball, believing in all good faith that those I had entrusted with the job of running with it weren’t kicking it into the bushes while I was … or rather, wasn’t watching.

But let me be clear. Now that I’ve got the damn ball rolling again we’ll be up and running in no time. Just need to drain the swamp and bring in some fresh blood. So to speak.

One thing’s for sure. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve still got a job to do.

 

Image result for the buck stops here

 

Image: http://www.heritageinstitute.com

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16 thoughts on “Press Statement

  1. I suggest heads must roll! This lassitude is inexcusable! Measures must be taken to ensure that all wrongs are constantly addressed with every ounce of available energy until such time as things are perfect.

    1. Cheers, GH, but think that was an earlier POTUS:
      ‘Wikipedia – “The buck stops here” is a phrase that was popularized by U.S. President Harry S. Truman, who kept a sign with that phrase on his desk in the Oval Office.’

  2. Dave, all you need do is say “lessons will be learned.” Then everyone will forgive and forget. The beauty of this scheme is that you don’t actually have to learn any and certainly don’t apply anything you might pick up. It works for other august bodies – bound to for yours.
    Of course on a purely personal note, reflecting the low speed and poor productivity of my remaining grey cell, a breather from the hectic pace of your posts gives me a chance to regroup, recharge and ready myself for the next ones. 🛀 – that is supposed to be relaxing in a hot bath 😃

    1. This witty and thoughtful response shows that cell of yours firing on all cylinders, Mike! Lessons will be learned, haha, great way to kick the can down the road and the ball into the long grass! Onwards and upwards … 😀

  3. I am sure you will find the culprit, Dave. But it won’t be easy! Our minds are sneaky, and we can never be quite sure who is running the show. There is no such thing as an integrated I, only bits and pieces who are constantly competing and shouting me, me, me. Was it the lizard who was buried millions of years ago deep in our brain? You have to watch out it. It enjoys lying out in the sun doing nothing. Have you felt like eating any flies lately? –Curt

    1. Oh no, Curt, I grew out of that phase ages ago! Nowadays I swing through the trees in search of bananas. Whatever next, I wonder, watching TV and switching channels whenever the news comes on? Anyway, I’ll certainly be feeding your analysis into our data bank in the hope that it will help identify the responsible … er, irresponsible slackers!

      1. I am sort of partial to that swinging through the trees and beating my chest, too, Dave. That’s probably because I cut my eyeteeth on Tarzan. My parents could get me to do all kinds of things with a Tarzan comic book, even go to church! –Curt

  4. I feel that you have a potential new career opportunity opening up with this statement. Have you thought of sending your CV to our various political parties. Lately they all seem to have failed to produce capable statements like this!

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