Big Fish

My local Writers’ Group has some odd bedfellows.

“Darlings,” said Florian Copperplate, our resident calligraphy Nazi, “we must uphold the standards of writing culture by using only the very finest materials. No wonder our masterworks languish unpublished while they offend so many reader sensibilities! Let us employ our collective buying power to purchase several reams of Imperial Fine Stationery with superior signature styling, tradition for excellence and contemporary spirit. I understand they’ll throw in a job-lot of De Luxia full-grain chrome-tanned dyed-through calfskin notebooks with hand-watermarked paper – surely predestined to become our everyday companions? And a little bird tells me we can obtain considerable cost reductions on Escritoire Smoothflow Fountain Pens with their reassuring guarantee of compositional ease and enablement.”

One wavering arm was raised.

“Do you think,” ventured Stan Still, “that exotic accoutrements such as these could help release my, er, log-jam of creative ideas?”

“Indeed,” Florian beamed, “and send them flowing freely all the way to the open sea! What say I sign us up, fellow-scribblers?”

Only I saw him tick the box labelled Agent Discount. Only I saw his smug little smile. Only I could reveal his tawdry treachery.

I thought of his Tame little tales: silly, sentimental encomiums to a golden age that was never more than tinsel and glister. One day, he dreamed, they’d earn him lucrative royalties – even film rights!

I said nothing.


10 thoughts on “Big Fish

  1. This is obviously where I have been going wrong. I have immediately ordered the best quality keyboard I could find and am now typing in copper plate. We’ll see how I get on!

  2. Yellow lined legal paper, about as fancy as I ever got. 🙂 Then I discovered computers. Writers block flew away with the ease of correction. I stopped worrying about it. I’d be so worried about messing up fancy paper I’d destroy a ream before I got a paragraph written! –Curt

      1. I wish I did. It seems old fashioned and appropriate to me, more like art. I still use my notebooks when the computer isn’t available. And enjoy it. I’ve even found that my long years of working on the computer makes it easier to write on paper as well. But it isn’t my first choice.

          1. Got that. I went looking for a piece I had written for my next book and it had disappeared. It will be at home on a hard copy but it wasn’t on my laptop. You can do all of your editing on a computer and keep all of your old copies, but I generally don’t. –Curt

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