Your up-to-the-minute round-up of what’s been going on in Bafflesby since the referendum
A post-referendum opinion poll of Bafflesby residents has revealed a surprising level of ignorance about what’s going on. People were asked to say which of the following statements was least false:
- I know what’s going on
- I know what I know about what’s going on
- I don’t know what I know about what’s going on
- I know what I don’t know about what’s going on
- I don’t know what I don’t know about what’s going on
- I don’t know what’s going on
If the poll shows anything, says pollster Poli Putaketelon, it’s that asking the wrong questions can make it more difficult to find the right answers.
Gore King, the director of Bafflesby Art Gallery, has suggested the answers to the conundrums of life are to be found in paintings. ‘Stare long enough at a Jackson Pollock,’ he told us, ‘ and your brain does the rest.’
Let us know if it works for you. And while we’re asking for your opinion – hell, everyone else is, why shouldn’t we? – we’ve whittled down the choices for the new Bafflesby Town Song to these three, so which do you think it should be?
Meanwhile the battling campaign manager of Bafflesby Bremain, Innis Best, isn’t about to throw in the towel. He has unearthed an ancient borough by-law that appears to allow the town to ignore any decrees “devis’d by public deceivers or impos’d by mob rule”. Brexit, according to the indefatigable Mr Best, qualifies on both counts. ‘We are hoping our brave example will encourage parliament to throw out this upstart nonsense and start up a sensible discussion about what’s really going on.’
One early casualty of the business downturn following Brexit is the The Bafflesby School of Satire which is closing its doors for the final time. Founder and Principal Burl Esk explained that the real world has become so strange that it’s now sending itself up without expert help. ‘The situation out there is beyond satire,’ he added, before shooting himself with a comedy gun.