Brexit Or Bust?

Your up-to-the-minute round-up of what’s been going on in Bafflesby since the referendum


A post-referendum opinion poll of Bafflesby residents has revealed a surprising level of ignorance about what’s going on. People were asked to say which of the following statements was least false:

  • I know what’s going on
  • I know what I know about what’s going on
  • I don’t know what I know about what’s going on
  • I know what I don’t know about what’s going on
  • I don’t know what I don’t know about what’s going on
  • I don’t know what’s going on

If the poll shows anything, says pollster Poli Putaketelon, it’s that asking the wrong questions can make it more difficult to find the right answers.

Gore King, the director of Bafflesby Art Gallery, has suggested the answers to the conundrums of life are to be found in paintings. ‘Stare long enough at a Jackson Pollock,’ he told us, ‘ and your brain does the rest.’

Let us know if it works for you. And while we’re asking for your opinion – hell, everyone else is, why shouldn’t we? – we’ve whittled down the choices for the new Bafflesby Town Song to these three, so which do you think it should be?


Meanwhile the battling campaign manager of Bafflesby Bremain, Innis Best, isn’t about to throw in the towel. He has unearthed an ancient borough by-law that appears to allow the town to ignore any decrees “devis’d by public deceivers or impos’d by mob rule”. Brexit, according to the indefatigable Mr Best, qualifies on both counts. ‘We are hoping our brave example will encourage parliament to throw out this upstart nonsense and start up a sensible discussion about what’s really going on.’

One early casualty of the business downturn following Brexit is the The Bafflesby School of Satire which is closing its doors for the final time. Founder and Principal Burl Esk explained that the real world has become so strange that it’s now sending itself up without expert help. ‘The situation out there is beyond satire,’ he added, before shooting himself with a comedy gun.




Images:   ly


28 thoughts on “Brexit Or Bust?

  1. The answer is all of the above.
    It’s so true that framing the questions often determines the answer…
    But do we even know the right questions to ask? (K)

  2. This post was brillopads. Agree with memadtwo up there, too. But yes, sorry to hear about the School of Satire. My condolences to the Bafflesbians ( ? Bafflsebites? Bafllesburians? ) in these uncertain- but certainly strange- times. Staring into a Jackson Pollock painting may indeed bring some clarity.
    Mefinx the Bafflesby Town Song should be an a capella mash up of all three of the above tunes- beginning with the guitar solo from the first track.

    1. Ta muchly! I fear the authorities will have trouble stamping out the urge to spoof but there’s better news from the Bafflesby Art Gallery. They’ve just bought a load of old Pollocks. They’ve also hired Brian Eno to produce your suggested mash up, thus emptying the town’s dwindling coffers …

  3. I’ve spent some time studying the Jackson Pollock, as well as your other items, and am now feeling oddly rested, thank you for a lovely collage.
    I’ve even managed to close my cover before striking, and my red scarf no longer matches my eyes.

  4. thank you for your humor. although writing about the british mess, you have touched on some of the madness that we are enjoying in the united states, where we have been “trumped” for quite some time now.

  5. The beloved Bafflesby School of Satire – how shall we survive without its warm, welcoming beacon of sanity in this amazing world?
    The pain of the last week has been surprising – but for me I think it is mainly to do with the result suggesting that we are a country split 50/50 in opinion. However it is not actually as bad as that and random acts of kindness will still occur in the real world.
    If you would like an enlightening series of views (rather than pathetic sound bites) I recommend this piece It’s long and detailed but gives hope for understanding and reconciliation.
    Dave, do I need to initiate an online petition to save the Bafflesby University School of Satire, or will the BUSS rise like a phoenix from the ashes of despair?

      1. Cheers, Mike, I always enjoy your appreciative responses … and you are entirely right to send the serious links because my spoofs are as much about lancing boils as laughing about them. I’m with Joe Orton who believed satire didn’t have to be funny because it’s actually nearer tragedy than comedy. I look forward to reading the articles for their healing balm – it still feels like an open wound, this social separation, as you correctly diagnose it. Hmm, spot the medical references, think there might be some mileage there … as you see, I’m still thinking satire, no chance of the flow of bulletins from Bafflesby drying up while the real world keeps asking to be kicked. I never did like school, anyway …

  6. I sincerely hope you reconsider and continue in your position of dean of the school of satire. In a world like ours at the moment, there is only one way to stay sane enough to make a controlled access into the heart of the maze. I just heard that the new candidate for PM will be one of two women. Surely that would be enough info for your formal invocation lecture as dean of the newly formed satire and mis-misinformation school. I mean surely anti-anti-feminism as a reason for being pm must be some form of treason or at least extremely bad taste or something. Sorry. Not my place to tell you how to live, but feeling for all of you.

    1. What an exciting, even glamorous notion – ‘to make a controlled access into the heart of the maze’ – like something out of Star Wars! And I love the idea of mis-misinformation … pretty good definition of satire, I reckon. As for gender issues, a mere male like myself treads very cautiously where the fair sex is concerned … they can be very unfair when the wind is blowing the wrong way! But I deplore Professor Burl Esk’s abject surrender and offer the following video to promote the spirit of continued satire in the face of human craziness …

  7. Seriously thinking of visiting Bafflesby on my holidays, parking my caravan on the village green, cranking the old barbecue up and see what happens. I expect the locals to be aware of the ancient decree allowing this. . .

    1. Be fine as long as you aren’t sporting Upper Crustford numberplates … though you might get an early-morning wake-up call accompanied by, “You’re not from round here, are you?”

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