Renga

Here’s the finished poem. The first three and last five lines are mine, all others are credited. Their sites are well worth a visit.

See the clouds as they
Keep trying to catch the moon,
Yet still she breaks free

To sail so gently across
The sea of infinity

As stars blink sightless
With light long dead and worlds sore lost
In the murk of time.                                    Opher

She jumps to oblivion to
Surface in the cosmic stream,

The light that binds us
Mesmerising our souls' joy -
Cosmic lovers flying                                    Sam1128

To meet the morning.
Will the sun bless their union
Or tear it apart,

Retreat to shadows holding
Transitions of time                                      memadtwo

Grown long in dusk sun?
Watch as all evaporates,
Melting breath of cloud and wind              christine valentor

To nothing. Whole galaxies 
Fade to blue before the dawn.
Time returns and we
Wear morning on our faces 
To mask moonlit dreams.




Image: aplanetruth.info

 

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29 thoughts on “Renga

      1. When you work this tight, and go this deep into the meditative images, the hearts work as one-one pulse, one breathing. Watch a great singer sing solo with a choir sometime. not only do he and the choir breath simultaneously, but, if it is really in sync, also everyone in the room, including the audience, (and sometimes even the orchestra, although they are trained not to.)

        1. Ah, music … Walter Pater said that all art strives to approach the condition of music, or words to that effect. Music bypasses the intellect. As someone said, writing about music is like dancing about architecture. Music also values the collective over the individual … and thank you for your stimulating feedback!

          1. sorry to (half) disagree, but music bypasses the intellect and goes directly into the heart- of the listener. The musician producing has to understand totally what he is doing- the technique of his body, the instrument he is playing, the harmony patterns involved, the musical forms that are very much like chess. In jazz, for example, if often goes so fast you don’t have time to set down a pattern, you just use what you have learned before. The same for any form of improvisation, including vocal. As for the unity, job one is full mastery of your instrument, in all forms and structures, so that you are ready. Then comes the use of that mastery to understand and pattern the music. Only then, can you let loose and make music, individually. And the next level of difficulty, second only to solo singing with a choir, in my opinion, is working in a large group, and listening at all levels, both vertically and horizontally, and for that, you have to have a conductor. to make sure everyone’s rights are treated fairly, while putting the music first. Top of the list, musically, is conductor, solo singer no instruments involved, or concert organist.

          2. You’re absolutely right to emphasise the expertise of music-making and this is the best description of improvisation I’ve heard. A friend of mine once said that creativity was mostly about precision and wasn’t it Keats who said genius was 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration? I suppose in this way all art begins with technique which, once mastered, leads to other things. You wouldn’t know Picasso was a genius, perhaps, unless you’d seen his Blue period …

    1. Thanks for your contribution … added real muscle to the heart of the poem! I love the way these things stray around. This one was a walk on the wild side – my ending seemed tame by comparison, but I felt delightfully out of my depth!

    1. I loved the way your lines broadened the scope of the poem. Teamwork is the magic at the heart of this ‘life church’ idea we’ve been kicking around. Something that’s greater than the sum of its parts is the new miracle, maybe? Think I’m going to develop this in future posts.

  1. How nicely this ended! 👍👏👏And I applaud your effort to work with multiple contributors to gel this into a good piece that makes it an enjoyable read indeed😀

  2. It is a really emotive piece, as for herding cats Dave, making an ending to something that you lost control of shows a very deft piece of word craft!

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