Is this Mr Shoehorn?
I’m Asphodel from Fifteen Minutes. You may have heard of us.
You make people famous.
Our computer has selected your name. Our image consultants are now available. Our broadcasting studio is ready to roll.
That lot won’t come cheap.
It won’t cost you a penny. We take half your earnings when you become famous.
What if, for all your expertise, I turn out to be a flop?
Many of our clients are famous for being flops. People adore pointless celebrity. It gives them hope.
It’s all good, yeah, all good … you in?